Holy crapola, when I get up later today I need to buy my ugly dress that I’ll never wear again for my mom’s wedding. Torrid says it takes 2-6 days to arrive once processed, so I’m shipping it to her house. I hope she doesn’t open the box. Urgh. That’d just be another shot to fire at me, once she sees the size of the dress. Yeah, and I totally don’t wanna...
My endocrinologist’s office called twice today. Twice in a row. I didn’t answer. I was off doing more important things. *cough* The first message has Jill telling me that the doctor wants to see me, and the soonest appointment they have is June 21. She’ll put me down for that day, and if I need to, I can call and change it. Or I should call to confirm. Something like...
Dear iTunes, I definitely should have read the agreement this time. It freaked me out when you started importing my husband’s porn that was on our old computer into my dear, sweet, penis-and-vagina-free iTunes. Time to delete some shit. <3, A
Me: The eyelashes on my right eye are longer than the ones on the left.
Husband: Uh oh! You might have eye diabetes!
Me: Eye diabetes?
Husband: Yeah. Eyeabetes.
a dramatic re-enactment of my thoughts while...
me: that's not quite hot enough let me just turn it up to boiling lava.
me: yes good i shall bathe in the waters of mordor.
me: why do we have like 25 different kinds of shampoo?
me: i'ma read the back of this.
me: lather, rinse, repeat?
me: why do i have to repeat is your product so shitty it didn't work the first time?
me: hold the fuck up i have to write fanfic in my head real quick.
me: if water is a renewable resource does that mean every celebrity i've ever loved has showered in this same water before?
me: but you didn't have to cUT ME OFF.
me: did i already wash my hair?
me: i think i did but i don't remember.
me: i'ma do it again.
me: FUCK I REPEATED.
me: well played, pantene pro-v.
me: i wonder what it's like to have sex in the shower.
me: i bet it's awkward.
me: i bet a lot of injuries happen that way.
me: okay time to get out.
me: where the fuck is my towel.
Reblog if there is someone on tumblr you'd like to...
Some dude on "Jessie": I'm not crying. I'm allergic to the tea.
Me: I WANT TEA!
Louis: Goddamn Disney Channel...
I really want to see my endocrinologist.
My past two A1c’s have been 6.8. But I’ve been obsessively logging blood sugars every single day of this year in Excel sheets. The last 3 1/2 months averages are: 119 (March), 131 (April), and 125 (May). That comes out to be ~125 over the last three months, which would put my A1c down at 6.0. Maybe. I want to get it tested to see. I know the home tests aren’t that...
jephjacques: onlytowardschaos: I started out clicking strategically… and by the end was just wildly clicking and dancing in my chair. biancavirina: CLICK THE SQUARES. THE WHOLE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW ABOUT THIS. THIS THIS THIS THIS! Throwing away all of my instruments and replacing them with this
lunovulpes: avatargrimes: bancholazar: ...
I wanted to do something productive. I wanted to pick up alllllll the towels that are scattered around my office. (Yes, I said office. This is the place I retreat to to dry off after a shower/bath. Deal with it.) But I’m so tired I can’t move. ‘Of course you’re tired, idiot, it’s 1am,’ you think. Oh no, my friends, I usually stay up til 5 or 6am. So...